Ninten-duh

this afternoon, i accompanied my dad to a local video game store to pick out some Christmas (Holiday?) presents for my younger brother.

it was painfully clear that my dad had no idea what he was looking for (which is why he asked me to go along). as he leaned over the display case to look over the selection of GameBoy games, he muttered, "Nintendo.....Nintendo......" as if he were reading through a list of possibilities.
i wanted to turn to him and say, "Dad. They're ALL Nintendo. Stop pretending."

you'd think someone with the weinernet would be more knowledgeable.

in the classifieds

while browsing the classifieds online, i came across this:

Bargains
			12/17/2005 DEPENDS, SIZE large. $8 each, 4 for $30. Call ------------.

"Um, yeah, I'm calling about the Depends? Yeah, I just need one, so can I just swing by your place later today and grab that? No no, I'm sure one pair will be enough. Well, the ad says they're Large, right? Yeah, then I'm sure that'll be fine."

whaa?

you know how sometimes your mouth starts to say one word, then it or your brain switches to another word, and a brand new word comes out?
well, that happened to my dad last night.
he was saying something about having the internet at home, but i think he started to say "web" instead of "internet," and what came out was "weinernet."

it's a good thing my back was toward him.

man, it'd be awesome to have the weinernet.

again with the marketing

so, i'm wondering why the marketing world has decided it will be easier to sell medical products by anthropomorphizing the ailments they treat. specifically, look at Lamisil and Mucinex. Lamisil treats toenail fungus (and judging by the frequency of the commercials, this is quite an epidemic) and Mucinex gets rid of mucus in the lungs (also threatening much of the commercial airtime).
you've seen the commercials. Mucinex uses a gelatinous green blob wearing a dirty tank and suspenders as its spokesmodel. i mean, sure, I always identified my mucosal coughings with a trailer-trash blob of snot, but i'm surprised everyone else does the same. in the ads, he unpacks his suitcase and moves his furniture into some poor person's lung. warning: be on the lookout for large snot-blobs trying to sneak La-Z-Boys and rabbit-eared tv sets past your unsuspecting lips.
ugh.
but worse for me are the Lamisil ads. they feature gremlin-like yellow creatures that scurry under a big toenail, and are sometimes shown doing their dirty work under there--digging like badgers at the skin surface under the nail, spreading their infection while skin flakes fly.
UGH. it makes me shudder with revulsion just to think of it.
seriously, that is SO gross. this is not a product that really requires that much selling. if you have dry, yellowed, fungus-ridden toenails, i bet you're aware of it! simply knowing the product is out there should be enough to get your gross feet to the pharmacy to pick up this treatment. i don't think having a disgusting, scheming, skin-tearing mascot is something that will bring in more buyers.
"Gee Mom, can't I please get some Lamisil? Those yellow guys are so gross they're awesome!"
I don't think so.
Chuck-E-Cheese's, Toys-R-Us, McDonald's, these are places that benefit from having cartoon characters. they naturally appeal to kids and grab their attention when watching tv.
i know, i'm asking myself the same question you are: gurayn, why aren't you already making tens of thousands of dollars a year as a top-of-the-line marketer or ad designer?
i have no idea.