another Dad time

here's another typical conversation with my dad.

again in the car, he was reminiscing about a trip he took a few summers ago, driving up to Alaska with my mom and brother.

"I'd really like to do that all over again. This time I'd go to Seattle, then take the ferry up to Alaska. Wouldn't that be nice?"

me: "no. I'd go crazy being on a ferry for that long. There's not enough room."

"How long do you think it is?"

"Just a few days, but still. You'd see the same people, and just water with nowhere to get away from everything."

"Aw, no, the ferry isn't small! You could get lost on it...it would be about the size of the ferry we were on..."

"Dad, i've never been on a ferry with you."

"...Well, it would be about the same, maybe a little bigger than the one Mom and your brother and i took in Alaska."

"And how would I know how big that was?"

"Well, ok."

Here he took some time to think, and i could see the mental cogs churning through the muck, working on coming up with an excellent comparison for the size of that ferry. If you know my dad, you know that these pauses are interminable. People have gotten master's degrees in the length of these pauses.
So i interrupted the process, hoping to divert his attention.
"Anyway, it's still not big enough to get lost on."

"Oh yeah, it's all twisty down in there." He motioned like a snake's movements with his hand.

I didn't feel like pursuing this any further, so i didn't point out that curvy hallways do not constitute being lost. these conversations make me want to just close my eyes and not hear or speak for about an hour.

the Lutheran 'not'

okay, i know that, in person, the stories i tell get kind of long, convoluted, and troublesome to listen to.
but i just heard the worst story ever, from my dad.
we were in the car, and he was talking about an old pastor/professor friend of his from Luther Seminary. the story was something about how the pastor was misquoted by a newspaper article one Easter, decades ago.

Dad: "He was talking about Easter and the resurrection, and what happened was, they left out the 'not'. So when we read it, we knew it sounded unlike anything this professor would have said."

Me: "How? What did the paper say?"

Dad, smiling in excitement for his story: "They didn't put the 'not' in, so it was totally different than what it should've been."

Me: "...What are you talking about? What was the quote?"

Dad: "Well, i don't remember it anymore, i just know that they left out a 'not,' or put a 'not' in where it didn't go...or maybe it was a 'no,' or a 'not,' added. Or a 'no' or a 'not' accidentally left out. I don't remember exactly anymore, but it made the statement inconsistent with Lutheran theology."

Me: "WHAT 'NOT?'"

Dad: "I don't know, but it changed the whole meaning of what he said, and it didn't sound Lutheran anymore."

at this point, the wind had gone out of his sails, and he realized the irony, or whatever it was, in this story was not getting through to me. it was great how he said, 'i don't remember exactly.' i wanted to say, 'dad, you don't even remember abstractly at this point. you should never tell this story again.'

the thing is, i KNOW he's tried to tell me this before, a number of years ago. and still The Lutheran Not evades me. and my dad.